Q: So, this is held in a coffee shop, not a library…?
A: This kind of event is rare but not singular, they’ve been held all over the US in coffee shops, actual libraries, community centers and public parks. The event name doesn’t refer to the venue, it refers to the behavior: everyone knows how to behave in a library.
Q: Okay, this is weird. What’s the point?
A: Some people are extroverts, some are introverts. Some are the “life of the party” and some genuinely hope nobody notices they even exist. Some people are next-level introverts with crippling social anxiety who genuinely have a hard time even leaving the house. This event is for the latter two groups of people.
Q: Okay, this is creepy – why hang out with strangers at night and not even look at each other?
A: The drawing above shows two people in the night having coffee quietly at different tables. Maybe it’s after work on a Friday night, they’re both wiped out but they need to wind down before they go home. Could be that at the end of a day before a long lonely weekend, one of them broke up with someone but they aren’t ready to talk to other people yet. It’s possible that this is the first time one of them worked up the courage to leave the house at all that week and they’re trying really hard to overcome social anxiety. There are a lot of reasons and people don’t need judgement, they need safe space and that’s what this is.
Q: What if I’m an extrovert and come to “bring people out of their shell”? I mean, c’mon, everyone loves a party, they just don’t know it.
A: If you approach someone at the Silence table and so much as stare at them you will be told to stop and move to another table. Do it again and you will be ejected from the venue. We have the full support from venue ownership: harassment will not be tolerated. Some attendees have such extreme social anxiety that such behavior can result in a panic attack and calling an ambulance, and the attendee who caused it will assuredly be held liable. Extroverts have their own events, this is “Introvert’s Night Out” – go do your thing and let us do ours.
Q: What do I do if someone approaches me in the Silence area? I’m scared to say anything..!
A: You don’t have to do a thing, the event moderator will already know something’s wrong and come to help right then and there.
Q: I’m a germaphobe and generally don’t go out… can I do this?
A: Yes, yes you can. You aren’t expected to interact with anybody or even be breathed upon in conversation and certainly won’t be shaking hands. If you quietly wipe down the table with a sterilizing cloth before you are seated and mindful of surfaces, nobody will even look up from their books – there’s no judgement here.
Q: I’m neuro-atypical, loud noises are absolutely unacceptable. This venue will be quiet… right?
A: Generally yes, but businesses can’t be controlled by social groups, and any other patrons are absolutely out of our control. Our event is however scheduled in between other events so as to avoid “bongo drum night” at the same time for example, and we sit in the most recessed corner of the venue as possible. We do what we can but can only do so much, so you should absolutely bring your noise cancelling headphones and be prepared to use a white-noise media player as necessary.